Was the decision to cut off this particular part of emotions and feelings easier than I thought? Harder than I thought? Last year, I stopped contact for a month, and then another month, and then another month, and then two months. I hope I'm strong enough to make it permanent.

This song from Chuck versus the Final Exam, starting at time 28:49 of the episode, struck a chord within me. It sort of expressed certain parts of my feelings, and gave me relief.


Some day, dark has turned to grey
Stars have made their way.
I raise my glass,
And part my lips,
10 too many deep,
the only time I see you is in my sleep.

Some day, getting by my way,
I think I'll be okay, for a while.
I know you, never mine to keep.
I know that I'll see you in my sleep.

But time has been unkind, and kept me far from you.
But I know you will be holding me in my sleep.

I've been hanging on,
Scraping by, all my life.
And I know you will be holding me, in my sleep.

I've been hanging on,
Scraping by, all my life.

And I know I miss you, I'll always miss you.
And I know I'll see you in my sleep.

And I know I miss you, I'll always miss you.
And I know I'll see you in my sleep.

- In my sleep