Again, I appeared to have lost the direction and sense of where I'm going. When I had little time, I'll plan to do this and that, and now that I have plenty of time, I just don't know what to do with myself.

Go for a party? Nah... parties just make me sad and introspective. I'm more of a one-on-one person, which explains why when I meet people, it's a one-on-one meeting, or two-on-one meeting, especially with my brother, and with HM and BK.

Go for a movie? Nah... a movie is something for people with time to spare and waste, both of which I possess at the moment, but there's nothing in the movies that is appealing.

Writing that article I've been planning for would earn me US$2000 and probably an additional S$250 approximately, but I'm feeling a little not so motivated to do that. Cuddling Gee Gee doesn't hold any appeals to me, since it belongs to LOML, and not me.

I've reached a stage in my life, when and where I want to influence a greater part of the world, perhaps, improving the per capita income of the poor people of Singapore, or helping them to improve their livelihood or doing something to improve their lifes. It has been nearly a year (335 days, to be exact) since I responded to Hsien Loong's National Day Rally call, and I felt I've done or achieved nothing much yet.

Is there something I can do more? I don't really know what I can do, and I feel that I haven't yet reached the limits of what I'm capable of. Yet, at this time, I feel that there's nothing challenging left for me to achieve, and it makes me feel a bit sad. Becoming a parent is something I'm not ready for yet, in every sense and meaning of the word.

Sigh...