We all have a voice. A voice that has been with us since we were first born. But during our growth, we are first encouraged to use it, e.g., say, "Daddy" or say "Mummy" or say "Please ..."

Fine and dandy. Now let's get into toddler hood and primary school age. What happens when we raise our voice? We are generally told, "Shhhhhh....stop that racket!" or "Its not nice to scream and shout, will you be quiet?"

Now we're at school. "Be quiet during class!" , the teacher yells. Now we're told to shut up.

Once we grow up, we're taught to speak nicely, not to offend anyone, to observe protocol. Well, that's fine. But what happens when we need to express our inner voice when someone is bullying us, or putting us down, or belittling us, or being sarcastic?  

Most times, we respond with an eye for an eye. We haven't the skills to respond or to proact to let the other person know that we understand their frustrations, but would prefer them not to call you names as it tends to make matters worse.   

Bringing our inner voice out needs practice. Think about it. Olympic stars spend hours daily practicing and honing their physical skills. The concert violinist spends countless hours playing to maximise their mastery over their instrument and music. The ice skater spends hours daily committed to her practice so that she can execute the most difficult of moves.

What do we do to practice our craft? We might learn a word processing software. Once we reach proficiency, that is, the amount of expertise to just do our job, we stop learning. So we're never excellent at using the software because we have just attained proficiency and stopped our skills development.

How about when a manager confronts a staff member. The manager is usually highly technically qualified in his or her profession. She might be a nursing manager, or an industrial chemist, or a researcher or a doctor.   

When she interacts with someone who is at a conflict of interests  with her, she lacks the skills in interpersonal relationships to proactively or collaboratively gain partnership.  

Instead, she might just stand off, and in doing so, raise her metaphorical guns and shoot her opponent. Squaring off doesn't need the use of guns. The skill of creating rapport includes the prolific use of empathy and compassion to listen first and to solve the problem so that each feels that they have been heard.

Many people think that learning the mushy, touchy-feely, soft skills of interpersonal relationships where empathy, rapport, active listening are involved is not in their field.  

How wrong they are. These so called soft skills are the most powerful human relationship tools. There is enough empirical evidence shown in the last 60 years that emotional intelligence (EQ) skills are one of the most powerful concepts in becoming a great leader.

So. The inner voice lets you know that something is wrong and you need to speak up. How often we do so .... depends. But more often than not, either something is not said, or something is said to belittle, to blame, to be sarcastic .... to 'fix' the other person. "I'll show her a thing or two!" you say. "Ill show her who's the boss here!", you say.

Hmmm... not good. An eye for eye might have worked when David fought with the one-eyed Ogre, but modern times doesn't favour open battle.

So when we speak from our inner higher purpose, we are able to embody our mind, body and spirit. If this is our higher purpose, then this is programmed into our DNA. And once we train our inner voice to be able to speak up through our bio-mechanical process of tongue, jaw, neck shoulders and entire body, then we truly speak out of vocal power.

Since this is a skill, you will need to practice this until you gain mastery. It is the skills of vocal power, bringing in your entire psyche, conviction, calmness, power, great voice .... that now gives you your outer power.