After dinner, I felt bored. So I thought about having a drink with my friends, and message two of them. Unfortunately, both are not free.
And because of that, I am feeling sad. And I am learning to cope with my feelings, after reading "Little Book of Big Emotions". I have always been much of a solitary person, and not very social in nature. If I'm talked to, I will respond. However, I seldom talk to others. I have been working on changing that. I believed I have made some changes, since taking the course.
Since chatting with a friend recently (though I didn't mention about it directly or indirectly), I came to the realization that I have not been much of a friend. I hate to rely on others, and most of the time, I hate to have others rely on me too, because I fear I might not come through for them, or disappoint them. So, I'd rather not disappoint people by promising I'd do something, then failing to do it. And I rely on myself. There were times when I had no choice, but to rely on others, however, I only rely on others as a last resort. I think this is due to me being very solitary and being afraid of connections. And as a result, I am at where I am now, sad.
Going forward, I need to change myself as a person. I believe that emotionally, I am only at 7 or 8 years old. I need to develop my emotions. I am just wondering, how.